From Russia to Uzbekistan…

Republic of Uzbekistan

Nested remotely in the Middle East is a country few in the Unites States know exists. It is a land, a people, and a culture unfamiliar and sadly disregarded. While we diligently read people magazine and chat about the latest celebrity gossip a mother and daughter work to remodel their city apartment in Tashkent, Uzbekistan.

The mother of this girl has a compelling story- of leaving everything behind for a man she loved. Moving from a Russian city to a village farm in very rural Uzbekistan and into a whirlwind of cultural change.

Larisa is the daughter of this woman. I was first introduced to her in a college class we shared. One of the primary traits I immediately noticed and respected was her very strong personality and solid values.

I invited her participation for several reasons. Mainly, because I knew anything she wrote would be very intelligent and introspective of her culture in Uzbekistan . I also appreciated how strictly she adheres to her principles and values. Many people in America lack these disciplines, but being eastern, Larisa strongly posses many ideals of this nature. I think the bonding factor between us became our self- respect for our own personal goals and beliefs. I am a goal oriented person, with a forceful character and Larisa is the same. Perhaps one of my favorite “talks” I remember having with her concerned one’s reputation. “You must always pay attention and guard your reputation” she would always tell me. This was valid advice- reputation is an important social aspect which can either aid or hinder the achievement of one’s dreams.

Larisa decided to tell her story about her mother’s courageous journey into a new world. Larisa and her mother are very close. I am surprised that in the amount of time I have known Larisa , I never heard the story of her mother in depth. I am pleased to have asked.

In summary- Larisa ’s mother grew up in Russia . She met Larisa ’s father at the University and decided to move to Uzbekistan to be with him. Confronted, upon arrival, with a vastly different culture- Larisa ’s mother did not even speak the Uzbek language or was she familiar with Uzbek customs.

The cultural view of women was vastly different from that of Russia .

In Russia , she was independent. Women received an education and held jobs. In Uzbekistan women remained in the home and their opinions were secondary to men. They generally did not hold jobs and were subjected to answer to the mother in law.

Eventually, she emancipated herself from the rural farm setting to move to the city and obtain employment. Larisa ’s mother did this alone and to the disdain to her husband’s family.

I cannot even imagine such a change. One would have to completely eradicate any previous beliefs in order to adjust to something so unlike what stood before.

Growing up as such an outspoken person, I would find it extremely difficult to suddenly be secondary to a man’s opinions and beliefs. I was always raised believing that I have the power to change things, and that I can take care of myself. Entering a world where my opinions would not matter and I could be denied education and freedom of expression would be very surprising.

As Larisa illustrates in her story- the culture in Uzbekistan is changing and has changed since her mother’s earlier days. Women are increasingly becoming more active in traditionally male societal roles due to a strong “western influence”. The standards are changing in line with the times, especially in the city.

I believe the story of Larisa ’s mother is one many women identify with. Often, women are first to make sacrifices when they are in love and mainly to make those sacrifices on behalf of the family. I think too many women put others including their children and husband before their own happiness and desires because they believe it will keep the family together or more stable. It is a tumultuous balancing act for even women in the west with all of the expectations from not only family but careers as well. Even down to the smallest choices we make- I am sure each woman, at least once in her life, made the choice to do something different because of love.